- R. Homer Andrews Elementary School
- Habit 5: Seek First To Understand, Then To Be Understood

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood (Listen Before You Talk)
-
Principles and Concepts:
- Autobiographical responses
- Listening with the intent to understand
- When to listen empathically
- Ask clarifying questions
- Empathic communication in the digital world
- Respect, mutual understanding, empathy, and courage
Paradigm:
- Common: I need to make sure people understand my point of view.
- Highly Effective: I have greater influence with others if I truly understand them first.
Practices:
- Practice Empathic Listening
- Respectfully seek to be understood
When emotion is high, avoid autobiographical responses:
- Probing
- Evaluating
- Advising
- Interpreting
Results (I can listen and communicate effectively.)
Some results I might expect from living Habit 5 at a higher level are:
- Greater influence with others
- Solutions to complex problems
- Clarity on real issues
- Faster problem solving
Books that reinforce Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
Lower Elementary
- Stellaluna by Janell Cannon
- The True Story of the Three Little Pigs by Jon Scieszka
- The Runaway Bunny by Margaret Wise Brown
- Are You My Mother? by P.D. Eastman
- Is Your Mama a Llama? by Deborah Guarino
Upper Elementary
- Marrying Malcolm Murgatroyd by Mame Farrell
- The Witch of Blackbird Pond by Elizabeth George Speare
- Rules by Cynthia Lord
- Veronica Knows Best by Nancy K. Robinson
- The Bully of Barkham Street by Mary Stolz